Recently, we’ve all been tied up in the emotions of the death or our leader, Oyata, Taika. It has been an emotional ride and now as I reflect after four years I’m not sure I’ve really even started the grieving process. There has been a lot of hate, bile, ego and testosterone flung from one side of the world to the other. I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in it as well as the next practitioner. I feel it is time to move on, to let bygones be bygones, and get to the point where I can not only begin to train more effectively, but to grieve.
Once massive emotional thorn in my side that I’ve had for many years, and that came to a head when Taika passed, is all the people that hurt him before he died. There were a few people that were kicked out of the association for various reasons, some truly hurt Taika and his family emotionally, financially and in other ways. For years, I have fostered a major hate for these people and all associated with them, particularly if they were still riding on his coat tails. As illogical as it is, I think I somehow blame them for his death. That isn’t reality, isn’t even possible, but part of me feels like lashing out at them because he is gone. Well, it is time to move on. Some of these people have been gone for decades and Taika has been gone for over four years. I cannot let hate consume me. Neurons firing in pursuit of training are much better spent than in pursuit of hate.
I’ve gradually come to this realization over the last few months, and I’ve fought it. I didn’t want to let go of the hate. I wanted to hold on to the hate, to feel as if I am defending Taika’s honor. After going to a grief counselor to deal with the fact that I can’t grieve when I’m still dealing with this mental cancer, I have to just move on. This is no longer a concern of Taika’s as he is gone, why should I let it tear my heart apart.
So where is the ‘Sins of Our Fathers’ part? Recently, a friend in the art was called out for his association with a former student of one of these blacklist refugees. I found myself analyzing and researching the situation a bit because any time any name from that black list came up; I immediately went into defensive mode. I had to step back and ask myself ‘why’? There are a handful of people that Taika kicked out. Many others left with a not so pleasant standing with Taika. I won’t say I’ll ever forget but I can move on. I should move on. I’ve never really liked the phrase ‘Forgive and Forget’ as you should never really forget. Learn from your mistakes and others, but keep moving.
When someone would leave the association for whatever reason, their students would only ever hear one side of the dispute that brought upon the departure. They wouldn’t hear Taika’s side, only that of their instructor. Put yourself in their place for a moment. Imagine your first instructor, and how they were probably almost a god in your eyes. Many students never even met Taika or if they did it was just a fleeting glimpse at a seminar. Maybe they went to test for Shodan and he was in the room when they tested, yelling or tasking them on some mission. Now suddenly, your instructor sits everyone down and says we are branching out on our own. He give you a story about ‘creative differences’, being stifled, whatever. It doesn’t matter. You don’t personally know Taika, but you have known your instructor for months or years. Most likely you are going to believe your instructor and follow along blindly. Now keep in mind, 10, 20, 25 years ago there was either no internet as we know it today or it wasn’t nearly in the social state it is today. In one profound instance, an instructor was kicked out and told his students for 19 years that he was still training with Taika. Those students believed him. Very few students ever stay long term, so hundreds if not thousands of people march on by only hearing their instructor’s side of the story.
I can remember in one instance, where an instructor was expelled by Taika. Taika personally contacted the students and gave them a chance, gave them a choice. He told them his side, and said they could either stay in his association or stay with their original instructor. If Taika gave these people a chance, shouldn't we?
I can remember in one instance, where an instructor was expelled by Taika. Taika personally contacted the students and gave them a chance, gave them a choice. He told them his side, and said they could either stay in his association or stay with their original instructor. If Taika gave these people a chance, shouldn't we?
Back to my friend getting called out, after a bit of digging, I found that the person, who I myself had associated some bile with……was never actually in our association. I was caught up in the hype as well, guilty as charged. This person doesn’t even make claims to have been in our association on his bio unlike many others out there. He had been a disciple of someone who Taika separated from; let’s just call his instructor Mr. Big. At some point, not too long after Taika’s separation from Mr. Big, this student smelt the bull and separated from Mr. Big as well. Shouldn’t we commend that person for smelling the bull and leaving the person Taika had an issue with? Others didn’t leave Mr. Big and are still knee deep in that association.
As I began to research further, I finally realized that I have had numerous students over the years that originally came from these other splinter groups. I’ve had students from at least four different associations, probably more, that were founded by people that were either kicked out of the association or left under shaky grounds. My tutelage of these students gave them a chance to see how Taika’s art had grown since the departure of their former instructor. It gave them a chance to finally hear Taika’s side of the story. In each case, it gave me a chance to further spread Taika’s unique art.
